Intersection
by Black Archangel
Summary: Something weird pops up during a trip to the summer home, and Kagura is determined to find out what is going on. Crossover with Pokemon x Kirby x Lucky Star. Kagura's POV. Chapter 5 FINALLY here!
1. This Sucks Bad

**A/N:** Alright. This is an experiement fic. A lot of you seemed to have noticed that I've been writing Pokemon fics recently. Due to an annoying, as some of you may call, obsession with Pokemon, this is a crossover with Pokemon. However, because I'm trying to divert from this obsession, this is also a Kirby and Lucky Star crossover, but those parts will come in later.

Again, this is an experiment fic to see how well I can write with Kagura. And as such, this will be in first person from Kagura's point of view. A lot of the chapters were planned out on a moment's impulse while listening to music- this particular chapter was planned while listening to Gates of Heaven (Do As Infinity.)

**DISCLAIMER:** Screw this, I'm gonna write it once, and then never again. I don't own Azumanga Daioh. Because if I did, it would probably suck. Nor do I own Pokemon, Kirby or Lucky Star. But I have a Charizard, and it's awesome.

* * *

**Chapter One: This Sucks Bad  
**

* * *

I have no idea why Tomo decided it would be a good idea to bring a ladder into my room, climb up it, and jump off right onto my stomach. Why do I say this? Because that exactly happened early this morning, while I was still sleeping. 

"CANNONBALL!" I heard the disembodied voice scream out. Moments later I felt something strike me and I unconsciously screamed out in pain. Normally I was kind of a deep sleeper, but that got me up pretty quick regardless.

"You little-" I growled, and shot up from the covers, my hand wrapping around the Bonkura's neck. Of course, being me, I couldn't just let her live. Oh no, rather, I seized my blanket and used it to tie together Tomo's hands and feet. Like, you know those bags that people carry over their shoulders when they're running away? Like, those little folds that form the knot? Yeah, Tomo's hands and feet were like the folds, and then the blanket wrapped around was, like, the knot. It was pretty funny, especially with Tomo screaming out in frustration.

Not yet satisfied, I dragged her out by the limbs. This being the summer home, there was the lower level, and then a sort of balcony on the upper level that formed the upstairs hallway. Around the balcony was some kind of railing. I held out Tomo over the railing.

"CRACKHEAD!" she screeched, thrashing around like crazy. Pretty much everyone came out running after that to see what the heck Tomo was up to. Save Osaka, but she's... well, Osaka, so she doesn't count, really.

Things got pretty hectic afterwards. Amazingly awesome, but hectic, regardless. Yukari was all out from me letting her go, Nyamo was holding out some kind of blanket net to catch Tomo if I DID drop her (though that didn't work out great, since she was the only one actually holding it) Osaka was just getting up, and I think Chiyo passed out from shock or something. Sakaki seemed to be taking her somewhere.

"Drop her! DROP HER!" shouted Yomi. I jumped back in astonishment, my grip loosening. That earned me, like, a whole ton of cussing from Tomo.

After a while, I pulled her back up, violently, might I add. I just pulled her over the railing and slammed her down on the ground after that.

"KAGURA! I'LL FLIPPIN' KILL YA!!" roared Tomo. Grinning, I dashed downstairs, not really worried. I doubted that idiot could "flippin' kill" anybody. Tomo came down about ten minutes later when Yomi got fed up with her shouting and untied her, but until then, we pretty much just laughed it off. I had a feeling this was a good day.

And I learned that whatever "feeling" this was was an expert at lying.

* * *

"Kagura!" 

Osaka came running to me while I was sitting in one of those oversized armchairs looking through some manga I had stolen from Tomo. She probably thought I was, like, Yomi, or something, it was hard to tell, those armchairs seemed to literally devour you whole.

"Y-yes?" I asked, struggling to get out of the weird chair.

"What's yaoi?"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" I shouted, almost jumping out of the chair. When I calmed down, I asked, "Who the heck told you about that?!" I really hoped Kurosawa-sensei didn't get drunk again.

"Tomo."

"That little pervert," I snarled, getting up from the chair. A sudden tremor shook the ground, bouncing me up into the air. The miniature earthquake was followed by a screeching noise. 'SCREEEEEEEEEEEEE' it went. It sounded like some kind of mutant sea slug or something.

"OH SHIT!" shouted Tomo from outside. She made an attempt to dash back into the summer home but failed to realize the door was closed. She ended up running right through it, putting a big gaping hole in it.

"Way to go, moron," I spat at her, rising from the seat.

"Shut up and protect me!" screamed Tomo. Several painful looking splinters were erupting from her body, probably from running right through the door like a tank. "There's a big, freaking monster after me!"

"Like, you know, a bear or something?" asked Osaka. The others, alerted by Tomo's cry for help, were walking into the room.

"I don't think we can eat things we find in the wild," said Yomi. Sakaki looked horrified.

"Freaking no way 'like a bear'!" growled Tomo. "More like a goddamn dragon of doom!"

"...Okay," I responded slowly. "Maybe we should go out, investigate-"

"You can't make me go out there! Even if you take away Yotsuba&!" said Tomo.

"Actually..." I pulled out the manga from the armchair. Tomo smacked me upside the head. "What the heck?!"

"You jerk!" shouted Tomo, snatching back the book savagely. "But anyway, I'm really freaked out about this!"

"Whatever it is, count me out," yawned Yukari, walking back to bed.

"We should all go," said Chiyo, though she was shivering all over.

Eventually we managed to drag Yukari out, and we all departed together. Then we saw it. Two monsters. Fighting. One was blue, standing on four legs, and the other was pink, standing on two legs. They looked kind of like dragons, or serpents, or SOMETHING. The blue one seemed to be covered in metal that was stuck to its body in all sorts of weird ways, some of it wrapped around a blue gem on its chest. The pink one had two pink jewels in its round shoulders with no metal or anything on its body. The pink dragon drove a fist into the blue one's chest, who retalliated with a kick between the legs, which caused the pink dragon to fall to the ground, writhing in pain and agony.

Right onto Nyamo.

Silence.

"Well, this sucks," said Osaka.

I slapped my forehead.

* * *

**A/N: **I WANT YOUR REVIEWS TO EAT BECAUSE REVIEWS ARE SUUUUUUUUUUPER YUMMY. 


	2. Grand Theft Auto

**A/N:** Just a note, this takes place maybe, oh, maybe 3 or 4 years after graduation? Also, I haven't forgotten about Maya, he'll pop up...

Nyamo isn't really dead, she turns up later.

* * *

**Chapter Two: Grand Theft Auto

* * *

**Nyamo. Dead. Somehow I couldn't quite string those two together. Did I expect her to live forever? Probably not. But for her to die so soon... Or was she still alive? 

No, I told myself. It's not worth it. But all the same...

I took off a light jog, then started dashing after about ten seconds. By thirty seconds I was running full throttle, right up to that cretin's foot. Yomi shouted something from a distance, but I couldn't hear, so I gave that monster a sharp kick in the foot, wanting it to lift up its leg to see if Nyamo was alive under there.

It was the wrong foot.

"Shoot," I muttered in frustration.

"Kagura! Do a barrel roll!" called Tomo helpfully. I waved a fist at her, then took a jump away from the foot, looking back frequently to check if Nyamo was there. Never saw her once.

Oh crud, I thought to myself. Now the other monster, the blue one, wanted to fight, so it was following Mr. Pink Dragon. And Mr. Pink Dragon was following me. Curse words flew into the air in a panicked uproar, and Tomo flung herself in Nyamo's car, making hand gestures out the window. Luckily, our mutant dinosaurs were dead slow, it took them a whole minute to lift up a single foot. This was a nice advantage, and I vaulted myself into the car swiftly, right next to Tomo. Which probably wasn't a smart choice, but screw that, if I got out, I'd probably get killed.

"Step on it!" shouted Yomi, urging the others into the vehicle. Tomo nodded, pulled out a paperclip, and began twisting it.

"TOMO!" I shouted, bashing her on the head.

Tomo retrieved the paperclip, rubbing her head sorely. "Well, don't people pick locks with paperclips?" she asked.

"This isn't a lock," pointed out Yomi, getting into the back. "It's a freaking CAR."

"You're not answering the question," pouted Tomo.

"Why do people pick locks with paperclips?" asked Osaka from the back row. "Wouldn't it make more sense it pick locks with fingers?"

"Why fingers?" I asked, though I probably didn't want to know.

"Well, people pick their noses with fingers, people pick their as-"

"Okay, okay, I get it!" I shouted hastily. "But that still doesn't solve our problem of HOW TO START THIS CAR."

"With a key, of course," said Osaka helpfully. We ignored her.

"Here," said Sakaki from the middle row, placing Maya down. She handed the key forward, and Tomo snatched it right up.

"Whoa, what the heck is this?!" asked Tomo, amazed.

"To heck with it, just start the car already!" I screamed, ready to decapitate her.

"Geez, Kagura, you have anger issues," said Tomo, starting up the car moodily.

* * *

Of course we all knew a ride with Yukari was suicide, and that there wasn't a lot that could rival her behind the wheel. Tomo's driving was one of these few things.

Tomo was tearing right down the road, knocking cars aside as if they weren't there. Chiyo had long passed out from shock, and Osaka was turning green. Even Sakaki was shifting around uncomfortably. Maya was certainly traumatized from this experience.

"How fast are you going?!" shouted Yomi ludicrously.

I consulted the speed meter. 100 miles per hour. "100!" I called back, before the realization of what I'd said hit me. "Tomo, what the heck are you doing driving at ONE-HUNDRED MILES PER HOUR?! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL SOMEBODY DRIVING LIKE THAT!!!"

"I think it's more than that, actually, but the stupid meter isn't big enough," said Tomo. "Hey, Sakaki, there's one of those speed things coming up? You know, those things that say how fast you're going? Yeah, would ya check that for me?" Sakaki nodded, then gazed out the window.

"160," she reported, paling. I couldn't have agreeed more with her.

Tomo pumped a fist in the air. "WOOT! 160! Beat that, Yukari!"

"Tomo, you maniac!" shouted Yomi, making frantic hand gestures. She struck Osaka by accident, who prompty opened her mouth to speak, threw up, then turned green again a few moments later. "STOP THE FREAKING CAR!"

"MAKE ME!" taunted Tomo. "Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

"Why you little-" Yomi jumped up from her seat, dove right for Tomo, and started bashing her on the head. I watched, interested, but realized we were going to crash right into a stone wall if somebody didn't do something. I shoved them over, took over the wheel, and swerved sharply to avoid the wall-

-And crashed right into a different wall.

We had just enough time to react before the airbags exploded in our faces.

* * *

"Tomo, what the hell?" demanded Yomi.

"Yeah, so what if I did that on purpose?" grinned Tomi wildly.

"YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE?!" we all shouted together.

"Well, I just figured..."

"You just figured you could run us into a wall and kill us all!" I snapped, smacking her upside the head.

"But you're not dead," pointed out Tomo.

"Or are we..." said Osaka ominously.

"So you ARE a lifeless corpse!" declared Tomo, pointing an accusatory finger at Osaka. "But anyway, I ran us into the wall because, like, we were about to reach the summer festival- you know, the one we went to, like, five or six years ago? Yeah, that one. Well, see, I wanted to go, but, see, driving super-fast is all fun, you know? So instead of, like, slowing down, I figured that if I just rammed us into the wall, we didn't have to slow down and we could still stop! So yeah."

Silence. Then Yomi kicked open the door and threw Tomo onto the car next to ours. We watched as the people inside sweatdropped, quickly backing up. Tomo took note of this and started clawing the hood furiously, clutching onto the car for dear life. We heard somebody inside shout, "STEP ON IT, WADA!" and the car lurched backwards at about 20 miles per hour, sending Tomo flying onto the parking lot, skidding a few feet from there into the wall.

"Well, since we're here, might as well have some fun," said Yomi after a while.

"Even though we all know Yomi's just using this as an excuse to eat..." mocked Tomo from the ground. I noticed Yomi was about ready to catapult herself from the car onto the wildcat, but restrained herself, instead walking out of the car and heading to the trunk. I followed along, and spotted Sakaki waking Chiyo gently. Maya hopped out of the car, glared at Tomo, and waited patiently for Sakaki.

Yomi held out a slightly sticky looking plastic bag. "Wonder why all our summer kimonos are together..." I mused to myself, but tentatively reached into the bag and pulled mine out. Luckily Osaka had only barfed on the outside, so the actual kimonos were safe.

Tomo was holding hers in front of Yomi, grinning evilly.

"...What?" she asked uncertainly.

"You may not have noticed, but I can tie this thing by myself!" cackled Tomo.

"...Why?" she said.

"So I can compete with Sakaki-san!" shouted Tomo wildly.

"You're such an idiot," muttered Yomi.

"Oh, what's that now, Yomi?" said Tomo softly. "You can't put it on? I'll help you. Oh no, it's too small!"

"Shut up!"

I chuckled lightly, then turned to my own. Surprisingly it wasn't too small, even if the last time I DID wear it was, like, four or five years ago, but DAMMIT! I still couldn't put it on. I swore madly as I made several futile attempts to put this cursed thing on. But it wouldn't work! CRAP!

"Uh..."

Sakaki. Crud. Why did she decide to turn up now of all times?!

"...Do you need help?" she asked.

"Uh... no. No," I said, trying harder to the get the stupid thing on.

Sakaki-san watched me as I made an idiot of myself trying to get the thing on. "Do you... want me to do it for you?"

"I DON'T NEED YOUR PITY!" I shouted, trying even harder to get this to work. Five minutes passed with no luck at all. I groaned. It was probably hopeless anyway. "Sakaki-san... will you-"

"Hey, now, what do we have here?" grinned Tomo, suddenly appearing behind us. "Kagura needs help? Oh, but why choose her over me, hmm?"

I glared at her. "Don't even think about it."

"Is it... could it be love?" exclaimed Tomo, trying to act surprised. She danced around in little circles like crazy. "THE SECRET'S OUT!" shouted Tomo. "KAGURA- Oh, god, ow..."

I kicked her in the shins sharply. "Shut up!"

"I'd hit you, but your huge boobs would make it totally useless," sneered Tomo weakly. Sakaki merely blushed as I started sweeping the wildcat away. Little moron.

Anyway, we eventually got ready for the festival. Part of me felt guilty about just partying while Nyamo was dead, but what good would it do to greive and mourn? Still, though...

"LET'S GO!!!" shouted Tomo wildly. And without further ado, she slammed us all through the entrance at once.

* * *

**A/N:** Review please. Review or suffer and early death. I HAVE THE DUBBED ANIMES READY 


	3. Bump

**A/N:** Hey, sorry for not updating for so long. I've been lazy, and it sucks. Hopefully I'll post Chapter 4 soon, but Chapter 5 probably won't come out till at least a week later. -sigh- That sucks.

Though there's some surprise planned for Chapter 4. I won't tell you what it is. Ha. XP

* * *

**Chapter Three: Bump**

* * *

So the last time we were here was, like, four or five years ago? Yeah, I think it was four. It was amazing. "Woah..." I said, awestruck. "THIS IS SO MUCH MORE AWESOMER!" 

"Why are you speaking in English?" asked Yomi. "And I'm pretty sure even in English that "awesomer" isn't a word."

"SHUT UP! I knew that!" I shouted, irritated.

Yomi sighed. "Whatever."

"Uhh..." said Chiyo. "I think we should split up into groups, so we all can have some fun. Then we can meet back, oh, maybe fifteen minutes later at..."

"THE BUMPER CARS!" shouted Tomo, pointing franticly at said exhibit. "Let's go to the bumper cars! So I can show off my mad driving skittles!"

"It's 'skills'," Sakaki reminded her.

"Well screw you," muttered Tomo. "But anyway, I WANNA GO WITH YOMI!"

Yomi started muttering several profanities under her breath.

"Osaka-san, let's go together," said Chiyo, walking up to Osaka.

"Then I suppose we have to go with each other?" I asked Sakaki. She nodded, the three groups took off, each heading their separate ways.

* * *

**-Tomo and Yomi-**

* * *

Yomi felt like bashing Tomo's head in. The wildcat was dragging her along to several tents - tents that sold food that didn't exactly go with her diet. Then again, her diets never DID work... Maybe this one was different, though... 

Tomo walked up to her, waving some taiyaki in front of her. "I got taiyaki!" she shouted. "Want some?"

"No, Tomo," said Yomi. "No I do not."

Just as well, really. "Taiyaki!" shouted Tomo, waving the snack around. "Taiyaki! Taiyaki! Taiyaki!" Several veins twitched in Yomi's forehead.

Tomo pranced around like a maniac. She seized an end of the fish-shaped pancake and tore off the head. "Red bean paste!" cackled Tomo, waving it in front of Yomi. She resisted the urge to tear off Tomo's head and stood still, vibrating uncomfortably.

"No?" asked Tomo, grinning a devious grin. She opened her mouth, moving it to the pastry slowly to it, and-

-Yomi kicked Tomo in the back, causing her to relinquish both segments of the fish-shaped goodness that was taiyaki. Yomi caught both parts expertly in her palms, and, without hesitation, tore into that snack like a hot knife through butter, demolishing it in five seconds flat. Tomo cackled evilly as the calories were already fusing with Yomi's body, thus utterly destroying Yomi's dieting body, leaving fatty debris in its wake.

Yomi backhanded Tomo. She had tricked her. Ah well. At least it was a delicious trick**  
**

* * *

**-Chiyo and Osaka -**

* * *

Chiyo and Osaka spotted a goldfish catching booth. Several small children were lined up there, scooping up goldfish in those little baggies. The duo made their way to the giant tub of water. Bending down low, Osaka held out the circle thing, trying to lead the fish into the bowl. Failing utterly, she stepped aside and let Chiyo take her turn. 

Quickly, Osaka told herself. While they're distracted. Attack!

The pigtails. She could swear they were shaking their hairy pointed butts at her. Osaka gritted her teeth. She had to do this now. Destroy them! But how? She had no bread, no weapons. But wait! She did have one mean of eliminating them for good.

Osaka ground her teeth even harder. This was going to be tough. The pigtails couldn't notice her scheme, because if they did the whole plan would fail. She had to do it quickly, though, because if she took too long she couldn't do it at all.

Osaka seized Chiyo by the back, and shoved her into the water.

Chiyo screamed as she fell into the water. Dangit! The pigtails had been alerted. At this point in time, however, they would have no time to react. Osaka was confident. She had finally slain them.

Chiyo came up from the tub, spouting out water and fishies from her mouth. Osaka gasped. They were gone! But... but how? How was that possible?!

"C-Chiyo-chan, are you alright?!" asked Osaka, trying to hide her fear.

Chiyo nodded. "I wonder, though... who pushed me in? Was it you?"

"Uh... no," lied Osaka.

"Well, that's good," said Chiyo. "Who DID push me, though?"

"Isn't it time to go?" asked Osaka, trying to change the subject.

Chiyo glanced at her waterproof watch. "You're right!" she exclaimed. "Osaka-san, let's go!"

* * *

**-Kagura and Sakaki-**

* * *

We didn't talk to much during those fifteen minutes. Sakaki stayed all quiet and emo, and I... I did something. I don't know what. Finally, we came to one of those shooting games. 

"Soo..." I said slowly. "Wanna go play?"

"...Alright," she said. "But..."

"But what? Let's go!" I exclaimed eagerly.

"If we bring along Maya, we have to put him somewhere," said Sakaki. "If we leave him on the ground, he may wander off. If we set him on the table, we might accidentally shoot him."

"Ah, right you are," I said, recalling Sakaki's mad sniper skills from a few years back. "There are a few tents over yonder that direction, they hold your pets there," I suggested, pointing at said tents. Sakaki nodded and walked off, and I decided to play while she was gone.

I recalled a few years back Sakaki shot some Necoconeco down pretty easy. Still, though, why would she go for that? Did it strike some sort of attraction to her? Tomo shouting out that I... well, I like Sakaki was pretty annoying, but... I supposed I did have a bit of fondness in her direction. Scanning the shelves, I decided to look for something like that doll.

Then I saw it. Perfect. I gripped the rifle with steely determination and fired.

* * *

"Bumper Cars, eh?" asked Osaka spacily. "Sounds nice..." 

"What are Bumper Cars, Chiyo?" I asked, holding the paper bag at my side.

"Bumper Cars?" said Chiyo. "Each person gets their own little car. These cars have bumpers around them. The objective is to bump into other cars."

"Hate to admit it, but I think Tomo actually had a good idea for once," piped up Yomi.

"Tomo..." said Chiyo and Osaka together, suddenly trembling all over. I had a sudden vision of Chiyo and Osaka's cars flying through the ceiling. I froze up immediately.

"Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap," I swore.

* * *

I pictured Tomo knocking over several cars before getting in my own, which, I anticipated, would become my coffin. I was not to be disappointed. Tomo was shooting around the place like crazy, and actually sent one unfortunate kid flying straight through the wall. Poor little kid. 

Chiyo was getting beaten up by anybody taller than her, which was, like, everybody. Osaka was unable to actually start up her car for some odd reason, and as a result was smashed apart mercilessly by the other drivers. Neither Yomi nor myself were having too much difficulty, and Sakaki seemed more focused on avoiding other cars rather than crashing into them.

I drove my car into some little kid who was attacking Chiyo. Annoying little bugger, he was. He pulled backwards a bit and charged at me, but I was too damn quick for that little brat, and literally zoomed sideways without turning the car. The kid seemed determined to be the one who finished me and charged again. I swerved out of the way, but this time there was something else attacking.

The guy with the starter pistol had shot the car.

"Watch it!" I shouted, waving a fist. The boy took this as an opening and charged yet again. I anticipated his arrival and spun the car in a 360 degree angle, sending him flying into Tomo. BAM! The car was shot again. Then it occurred to me that he was actually shooting and wasn't one of those trigger-happy people, and that he was using a real gun, not just a plain old starter's pistol.

"Dammit, he's shooting at us!" I shouted.

"WOOT! This is just like Lupin!" shouted Tomo.

"In... what way, exactly?" asked Yomi.

"Shut up!" I shouted. "Shut up and get the hell out of here!"

Tomo drove forward, bumping all the little kids away, and pulled back on the steering wheel, causing the car to jump and overtake the guy with the gun. He screamed in agony as his various bones and organs were shattered to pieces, then he started bleeding. Eww.

"Hey!" shouted Tomo. "Is this guy _supposed_ to be bleeding black?"

"Uh... no..." said Sakaki, looking at Tomo like she was crazy.

"Oh," responded Tomo. "I just thought if anybody knew... Because there's something black coming out of him..."

Normally I would've called Tomo crazy, but she was, for once, right. That was a first. Darkness leaked out of the man's unconscious figure, forming a giant black ball. A single eye was placed in the center of it, glaring.

"Dark Matter!" shouted Tomo excitedly.

"Who?" asked Yomi.

"Dark Matter!" she repeated. "You know, from the Kirby games? Okay, nevermind, Yomi, you're just dumb."

"What the hell did you just say?!" Yomi snapped.

This Dark Matter thing just watched, ready to make a move. I kicked open the car door and ran like hell. The others quickly followed suit.

Dark Matter simply let out a maniacal laugh and fired a laser at us. It knocked all of us unconscious instantly.

* * *

**A/N: **Kirby himself doesn't appear till later, but I thought I'd introduce Dark Matter now. I'm also intending to mix in Pokemon and Lucky Star (the dragons from Chapter 1 were Palkia and Dialga) so, as EvilDux would put it, don't touch that dial! Or something. 


	4. Unlucky

**A/N:** If you've never, ever watched Lucky Star, you really should, because you won't be able to get a lot of stuff later on. Go watch, plz!

This chapter is a bit shorter and not as awesome, I just wanted to get the introductions over with. I always hated writing introductions, there's not much way I can play around with them, really.

* * *

**Chapter Four: Unlucky

* * *

**

Am I dead?

Am I alive?

Where am I?

I believe I am alive.

What is this?

I feel a pleasant breeze...

I wonder where's coming fro-

SLAP.

Okay, then. Not dead. My eyes flickered open and I shouted, "WHAT THE CRAP ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Slapping you," responded the blue haired girl in front of me, slapping me in the face. I glared at her.

"Yo, Konata, knock it off!" came another voice. Some purple haired girl. Seriously, who has purple OR blue hair?

The blue haired girl, apparently Konata, held her hand up in the air and turned to the other girl. "Aw, Kagamin, you're no fun," she said, removing her hand relucatantly.

"I'm Kagura. Who are you?" I asked, annoyed.

"I'm Konata," responded the slap-happy girl. "And this-" she held up a poorly drawn picture, or scribble, rather, of the purple-haired girl which included her breathing fire- "is Kagami."

"IT IS NOT!" shouted Kagami, tackling Konata angrily. I watched this scene, slightly confused at their antics, then got up to my feet slowly.

We were at the summer home. A sudden pain burst through my back, and I fell back. I felt several bruises along my body, maybe a few broken bones even. What did that Dark Matter person do...?

Kagami and Konata calmed down, getting up. "Oh, yeah," said Kagami. "Some person called Yukari or whatever- yeah, she's says you're in debt."

"...What for?" I asked.

"Driving you here," she said.

I froze. "S-she drove us here?!" I stuttered.

Kagami nodded. "I thought you died or something, so I wanted to play with the corpse. You know, like in some animes?"

That would explain all the bruises. "Why would you play with a corpse?" I asked.

"Well, it wouldn't matter unless if they were zombies or something..." Konata allowed her voice to drift off. "OMFG YOU'RE A ZOMBIE!" she shouted, pulling out what looked like a plastic samurai sword. "YOU MUST DIE!!!" She lunged, slamming the plastic sword over my head.

I rolled over, avoiding the assault narrowly. Konata, as a result, fell into that oversized armchair I mentioned a while back. The chair swallowed her with no intention of spitting her back out any time soon.

I stared, confused, and wandered off-

-Right into... well, someone. There was this girl with purple hair also, and, like, some person with, like, pink hair. And glasses. More people with odd hair. That was just great.

"S-sorry!" wailed the pink person. I hated using the word "hair" over and over again to identify them, but I didn't really have any other means of identifiying them at the moment. So, to save time, I just decided to call them, like, pink person, or something. Although I suppose typing this up is a big waste of time as- oh, just forget it.

"No, I'm fine," I said hesitantly. "Are you alright?"

"Fine, huh..." said the purple girl. "Odd name..."

"No, that's, uh, not my name," I said. "My name is Kagura."

"Oh, right," she responded. "That was dumb. I'm Tsukasa, this is Miyuki-san. Pleased to meet you."

"Same," I said. "So, uh, why are you all here?"

Silence. "I don't know, actually..." said Tsukasa nervously. "I'll go ask someone..."

"No, I was just wondering..." I said hastily. "I'm just fine."

"What's that sound?" asked Miyuki-san. We paused. There was a high pitched whirring sound. Odd. Then I realized it could be-

"Dark Matter?" I wondered aloud. Then something chopped through the ceiling, obliterating the wood in its path.

* * *

**LUCKY CHANNEL!**

* * *

Akira: OHA LUCKY! Lucky Channel is broadcasting once again! I'll be your navigator, Akira Kogami!

Shiraishi: I'm Akira-sama's assistant, Minoru Shiraishi. -glare-

Akira: ...Oh yeah. This is my assistant, Minoru Shiraishi. -returns glare- Anyway, he's not important! Let's get right to it! Already we've got a ton of fan mail! Akira-sama is overwhelmed! waves arms around excitedly

Shiraishi: -hands letter to Akira- Here.

Akira: Sank yuu! -reads letter- Dear Akira, congratulations on Lucky Channel! I am looking forward to tuning in every week.

Shiraishi: Lucky Channel doesn't broadcast every week.

Akira: SHUT UP! That's not important!

Shiraishi: It's very important! What if someone tries to tune in a week from now only to find they've missed me?!

Akira: What do you mean, "me"? Surely nobody tunes in to see you.

Shiraishi: I have tons of adoring fans!

Akira: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure. Just like I have a moustache.

Shiraishi: -pulls out a magic marker and scribbles a moustache on Akira's face-

Akira: WHY YOU LITTLE- -kicks Shiraishi in crotch-

Shiraishi: AUGH! -falls onto the ground, writhing in pain-

Akira: That should teach you. -stamps multiple times on his body-

Shiraishi: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!

Akira: Anyway... -fanfare begins to play again- Oh! Looks like we're out of time! Akira-sama is so sad! Anyway, send your questions to the show and we'll try to answer them! Until next time! Bye-bye! -waves as sign flies back over the screen-

Shiraishi: OWOWOWOWOWOWOW!

Akira: Oh, quit it you. You're almost as bad as you were last time we were on public television.

Shiraishi: And you're even wor- AUUUUUUUUUUGH

Producer: Shiraishi? SHIRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAISHI?!!

* * *

**A/N: **I suppose the main focus of that chapter was Lucky Channel, which was just too awesome to not put in. I mean, c'mon! It's Lucky Channel! What's a Lucky Star fic, or Lucky Star crossover, without Lucky Channel? Anyway, send us some questions along with your reviews, and we'll try to get them answered! Try not to send more than two or three a chapter, we don't have a lot of time to cover them! Thankies much!

Cookie for anybody who gets the Metal Gear reference, by the way.


	5. Titanic

**A/N:** I suppose I'm being lazy again. Dang, this happens a lot. Usually I write for about a week or two, then I start to get sidetracked and the next update is a week or two later. Anyway, let's move on to the next chapter, then...

Oh, by the way, AR makes a good point with his review. I did think about that, and, well... I don't actually have a good reason. I guess they just weren't ready to acknowledge the fact that she was dead (even though she's not) and they were trying to avoid it. As for the Pokemon, I have absolutely no explanation that will work at all. Sorry.

The Metal Gear reference I was talking about last time was at the very end of the chapter. The Producer shouts, "Shiraishi? SHIRAAAAAAAAAISHI?" similar to how when Snake dies in a Metal Gear game, in which case Otacon shouts, "Snake? SNAAAAAAAAAAAKE?" Just wanted to clarify that.

* * *

**Chapter Five: Titanic**

* * *

There was a huge hole in the roof. Sunlight poked through, revealing a shining figure floating above. Tsukasa glanced at it, was instantly blinded by the light, and fell backwards, possibly passing out. I found it hard to get a good look at it without having to squint. The metal behemoth fired a floating fist down through the roof, smashing through both floors at once. 

I heard Tomo shout from below, "OH SHI-" and get cut off by the fist colliding with her, a feeble, "I'm okay..." followed.

The creature descended into the house. Miyuki shielded her eyes, and I had to squint to get a good look at it. It was bulky, wearing a huge suit of armor, with a tiny horned head on top. Four metalic fists floated around it.

Konata and Kagami came from the other room. "That's Mega Titan!" shouted Konata.

"Mega Titan?" I asked.

* * *

**BOSS: MEGA TITAN**

* * *

Mega Titan's fists circled around it, firing into anything it could get at. Such as, say, me, these odd people, the floor, the people under the floor (which, seeing as it was only Tomo, I wasn't too concerned about) etc. We hid behind a block of... well, something. I didn't know, it was Chiyo's block. 

Konata spoke up. "Yuki-chan, use Scan!" she called to Miyuki.

"Yuki-chan" turned. "Scan?" she asked.

"Yeah!" cheered Konata. "You know, like, you flip down your glasses? And little laser beams come out?"

"Konata, shut up!" shouted Kagami, stuffing Konata into a corner.

"Miyuki's a chargin her laza!" encouraged Konata, limbs flying from her corner.

Anyway, Mega Titan fired a few fists into the ground, forcing more screams of pain from the wildcat below. I felt a pang of sympathy for her, but it was artificial. As in, I'm only doing it because I'm bored. I took the stairs four at a time, and eventually met up with Tomo, unfazed by the barrage of fists and still managing to hold a crazy grin on her face.

Setting Tomo aside, Mega Titan descended to our floor, and I began fighting it off with fists and such. It didn't quite do the trick, as Mega Titan was unscathed, each blow mocking me with a hollow "donk". Nothing was working.

The others had rushed down here, trying to fight off the thing as well. Kagami and Konata were doing most of the fighting, while Miyuki sat in the corner with Tsukasa, who was charging her cell phone. Distraction. Now I could think about how the heck I was supposed to fight this thing off.

"Konata, how do we fight this thing?" I asked.

She paused, leaving Kagami to fight alone. "Well, in Kirby and the Amazing Mirror, you need to hit it, and it hits the wall of electricity, and it gets shocked! It's so awesome!"

"Electricity..." I said to myself. "Yes, that's it. Metal conducts electricity."

"Odd that Electric moves aren't super-effective against Steel-types in Pokemon," mused Konata, jumping back into the fray.

That reminded me of something. Of a memory a few weeks ago. When we were trying to get into Chiyo's place...

**-FLASHBACK-**

_Chiyo was returning. She was to be in Japan in a week, and we were going to visit the summer home to celebrate._

_It was only about three or four years, and she already insisted on a reunion. Heh. She was missing us already. I imagined the look on Tomo's face if she realized that, so I decided not to tell her._

_It was summer, so we didn't have to worry about missing classes or anything. Not that the classes were very informal. I went to this school to become a gym teacher, there wasn't a whole lot of information the so-called teachers told us that was exactly new. Osaka was drifting away into lapses of imagination I'd heard during lectures, and Sakaki, despite the fact that she was working like hell to get the job as a vet was still bitten by just about any animal who was within a few feet of her, or otherwise flee. And the others... I wasn't sure. Chiyo went to study abroad, Tomo might've tried to become ICPO but I doubted it, and Yomi never actually shared any of her choices with us. Anyway, Tomo, Osaka and I met up at the high school the day Chiyo was due back here. We talked for a bit, then Osaka and I had to endure a long and very annoying road to Chiyo's mansion as Tomo sang anime songs at the tops of her lungs. I swear, several of the cars must've been tempted pretty badly to deliberately start driving on the sidewalk to silence the wildcat. Eventually, we made it there with no fatalities whatsoever, and-_

_"The gate is locked," I said, annoyed._

_"So open it," snapped Tomo._

_"Sata Andagi!" said Osaka, holding the donut in her hands._

_"Osaka, clap it," I demanded, cranky from Tomo's singing._

_"Sata Andagi!" she responded._

_"Osaka, stop-"_

_"Sata Andagi!"_

_"Shut up!"_

_"Sata Andagi!"_

_I clapped a hand over her mouth, but Tomo had picked up and was also repeating the phrase. After a while I managed to get them settled down, and we waited in silence for Chiyo to unlock the gate._

_"This is boring!" whined Tomo. I nodded, pretending to be interested. She reached into a matter-defying pocket and whipped out something that looked like a BAZOOKA. "Screw waiting, I'ma bustin in!" She pulled the trigger and fired a single laser burst, burning a hole in the gate._

_A slightly crispy Yomi and Chiyo were waiting on the other side._

_"Tomo?" asked Yomi, concealing her anger._

_"Yeah?" responded Tomo brightly._

_"Did it ever occur to you to just ring the doorbell?" she asked._

_"Not at all!" she laughed._

_It took the combined efforts of Chiyo, Sakaki and myself to stop Yomi from tearing Tomo's head clean off._

**-END FLASHBACK-**

The bazooka. Tomo wouldn't have left something like that at home. Chiyo's home. Whatever. It'd be plenty powerful enough to fight off something like Mega Titan.

"Tomo, where is it?!" I demanded.

"Where's what?" she asked through a mouthful of sugar.

"The bazooka," I told her. "Where is the bazooka?"

"Oh, that old thing?"

"Yes, that old thing!" I sighed, getting impatient.

"I sold it for a couple thousand bucks a pawn shop somewhere," she said, having devoured the five pound bag of sugar. Tomo then cut open about thirty Pixy Stix and chugged them all down at once.

"Sold it?" I asked, unable to believe what I was hearing.

"Yeah, I sold it," she said, annoyed. "What, did you need it?"

"...Yes," I said in a choked voice.

"Oh," said Tomo, Pixy dust spraying out her mouth.

Silence. Then a fist lashed out and hit me in the face.

* * *

Chiyo, Osaka, Yomi, and Yukari

* * *

Chiyo, Osaka and Yomi were grouped together in front of a stone shrine. The shrine was about a foot tall, in the shape of a stone needle. Yukari was somewhere near the summer house, trying to look like she was actually doing something. She wasn't doing a very good job of it. 

"She was... a great person," began Yomi melodramtically. She glanced over to her side. Chiyo was choking on her own tears. Deciding she'd probably be alright, Yomi continued. "I'll never meet another person like her. She was... amazing. It was a noble sacrifice. She risked her life for ours. We honor her now." Yomi put away her pocket "Funerals for Dummies" and kneeled down. Chiyo was shaking so much she couldn't kneel, but rather, she tripped on her own feet, falling face-first into the shrine's pointed tip.

"Owwies..." sniffled Chiyo, rubbing her head gingerly.

There was silence as the girls prayed quietly. Finally, Osaka broke the silence, uttering "So long... Sata Andagi."

Chiyo didn't have enough bodily fluids left to properly sweatdrop, so Yomi had to sweatdrop twice.

"What are you talking about?" asked Yomi ludicrously.

"Well we're honoring my dead Andagi, aren't we?" she asked.

"...No," said Yomi, gawking. "We're honoring Nyamo."

"Oh," said Osaka. "Well, my Andagi gave its life for mine. If I didn't eat at least one roll of bread a day, I'd die of depression."

"...What," said Yomi.

"Osaka-san, get a hold of yourself," said Chiyo. "We're honoring Kurosawa-sensei, not bread."

"Okay," she said, not sounding convinced.

Yukari didn't exactly hear the entire conversation, but she sweatdropped anyway through pure instinct. If Osaka was saying it, then it was probably made no sense anyway. No good trying to make sense of it.

* * *

Sakaki

* * *

Sakaki was sitting, cross-legged, on a hill. Maya was curled up in her lap, sleeping soundly. She was thinking. About... him. Chiyo's father. She'd seen him before, and now she had seen him again. 

A month ago, the night Chiyo had declared her return to Japan, Sakaki had seen him. She was walking along, in a perfectly normal dream, then, out of nowhere, he'd appeared, uttered two words, and vanished, waking the girl up. Sakaki didn't know what the words meant, but regardless, they were affixed in her mind. Burned. As if a giant Yukarimobile had crashed into her brain, and those words were the scars. Those words were: Anime Rebirth.

What did it mean? Anime Rebirth. It sounded like the name of some fanfiction writer. Sakaki ignored the dream, until she'd recieved another one like it two weeks later. Once again she was walking along, and once again he'd popped out of nowhere and said, "Star Warrior". Sakaki regarded them as strange, but continued with her life until he'd once again invaded her dreams, this time actually saying something in a complete sentence.

"Go to Hokkaido," was all he said. Then he vanished.

Sakaki was now trying to link the dreams. For as far as she knew Hokkaido had no traces to the stars, unless they were doing astronomy or something. And anime was never real in the first place, so it would be impossible to bring it back to life again if it was never alive in the first place. There was no connection. None at all.

She stood, accidentally waking Maya as he slipped from her lap and collided with the ground. Sakaki apologized, picked him up, and hugged him close to her.

And saw them. The blue metal dragon and the pink dinosaur. They were back.

* * *

Kagura and Tomo

* * *

Crap! Mega Titan wasn't getting any weaker. There had to be some way to kill this thing. There always was. Electricity was its weakness, so I needed electricity, but damn... where the heck was I supposed to get it? 

I racked my memories again. There had to be something here... Ah! There's something. Tomo said she was going to join the ICPO. Which meant something along the lines of "International Police" or something. The "Police" part was important.

"Do you have a tazer?" I asked her.

"Course I do!" snapped Tomo. "What do you expect from a police lady?"

"Give it to me," I demanded.

"But-"

"GIVE IT TO ME."

"Fine, fine," whined the wildcat, chucking the tazer. "You owe me a 20 million yen rental fee later, though."

I ignored her, switching the device on. I moved forward, pushing Konata away, and stabbed. The cyborg vibrated violently, shaking madly. It fell, creating a large hole in the flooring, then rose ominously, fists flying. Each one was intercepted by a swing of the blade, causing them to fall to the ground. Kagami, wanting to join in on the fun, searched for some kind of weapon.

"All charged!" exclaimed Tsukasa happily, holding her fully charged cell phone. Kagami ran up to, kicked her aside, and snapped the phone in half. Tsukasa screamed in horror, then retreated to a corner, crying quietly.

The phone halves had sparks playing about the broken ends, which could serve as a weapon. Twin daggers. Nice.

Konata was feeling a bit left out, so she opened the door and left. We ignored her, constantly beating on the machine. In all it took about twelve seconds. Mega Titan fell for the final time, and shut down entirely.

* * *

**LUCKY CHANNEL!**

* * *

Akira: OHA LUCKY! Welcome back to Lucky Channel! I'll be your navigator, Akira Kogami! Da-da-da-daaaa! 

Shiraishi: I-I'm Shiriashi.

Akira: Alright! Let's get to checking our fan mail! Shiraishi, bring in the mail!

Shiraishi: Uh, yes, about the mail...

Akira: -glare- You DID tell them to send the letters, right?

Shiraishi: Yes, but, um... -holds up a single letter-

Akira: ...What is this?

Shiraishi: That was all our mail.

Akira: ...All of it?

Shiraishi: Yes. -begins to pray for a quick and clean death-

Akira: -loses it- YOU LOUSY INGRATES! YOU JUST HAD TO DO THIS TO US, DIDN'T YOU?! JUST HAD TO MOCK US WITH YOUR SINGLE LETTER, ISN'T THAT RIGHT? WELL, LEMME TELL YA SOMETHING! YOU BETTER SEND MORE LETTERS NEXT TIME OR I MAY JUST HAVE TO SEND SOME LETTERS TO YOU!

Shiraishi: Uh, anyway... to the letter?

Akira: Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. -opens letter-

What would you do for a Klondike Bar? Ooh I wanna ask that at the Help Desk.  
-Yukon

Shiraishi: Hmm, a Klondike Bar you say? Well, I suppose I'd-

Akira: SHUT UP! -slaps Shiraishi- Can't you see this is all a conspiracy? This person must have stolen all our mail, then given us this single crappy letter asking us this stupid question! And what is the question?! A question from a commericial!

Shiraishi: -rubs cheek- Your point?

Akira: They're setting us up, is my point! They want to make sure we answered this particular question, and they're going to tape us once we actually do something stupid for this so called "Klondike Bar"! They'll make millions at our expense! We can't let that happen! ...Oh sure, you can go ahead and act like an idiot, I don't care about you, but I WILL STAND MY GROUND! Who is this person, anyway?

Shiraishi (while acting like a monkey): Someone called "Yukon". Possibly an alias?

Akira: We shall see... -pulls out a laptop from under the desk and begins searching-

Akira: Hmm... Apparently Yukon is short for... Pfft... BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Shiraishi: What, wha- WAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Akira (stiffling laughter): Looks like this plan backfired on you! Now we've humilated you on public television, Yukon Wild A- HAHAHAHAHAHA!! -fanfare plays-

Akira and Shiraishi: AHAHAHAHAHAHA! -signs falls over screen-

* * *

**A/N: **This was supposed to be one super long chapter at first, but I had to shorten it because I really wanted to get this in. The rest should come in around Chapter 6. Remember, send some more questions! So we can laugh at more people! XD 


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